GOA's ‘HOUSIE’ MILLIONAIRES
Humor Story by Gasper Crasto
Life has a way of turning a perfectly mundane day into a wild, ridiculous ride.
There was a Housie Game at Navelim, apparently the first that got the whole of Goa on fire – Rs 6 lakhs at stake.
I had no intentions of gambling, no desire to take any risks, and no thoughts of winning a Housie or an appetite to become a Lakhpoti. So I did not go.
Instead, at the exact time of the Housie, I sat at the local bar, sipping beer, when a decent man in a coat walked in, scanning the room like he was auditioning for ‘Goencho Avaz Singing Contest’.
His eyes locked on me, and before I knew it, he slid across my table, looking like he had the combined tension of 10 lawyers on a murder case.
“Borem kelem tunvem,” he said, his voice smooth as butter, “you had the guts to make a big decision.”
I stared at him, trying to figure out if he trying to get me to buy an overpriced pen or perfume.
“Am sorry, hanvem vollkonk nam tuka. Do I know you?” I asked.
He grinned. “No, but I know you. You’re that guy who always orders the weird ‘ross-omelette’ without the yellow, right?”
This was true. But what did this have to do with anything? “Yeah, that’s me,” I muttered, confused.
“I like to make big bets, bigger than the Housie going on there,” he continued, leaning in closer. “Am offering you a chance to win a fortune. No strings attached. ‘Sarki’ simple bet. Are you in?”
𝙋𝘼𝙉𝙄𝘾 𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙊𝙁
My brain immediately went into full panic mode. The bar was empty, everyone was out playing ‘Housie’.
“Is this some sort of scam in Goa?” I wondered.
But instead of complaining, I nodded. Maybe I was sleep-deprived due to the hectic vacation. Or maybe I was secretly hoping this guy was actually a genie offering three wishes.
Either way, I was in.
“Alright,” I said cautiously, “Kosli tuji game?”
“Simple. We flip a coin. Heads, you win 1 lakh. Tails, you owe me nothing. But if you lose, you will have to buy a lifetime of omelettes from my father,” he winked.
Then I remembered. He was the omlette-gaddo owner’s son.
𝙏𝙍𝙐𝙎𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙁𝘼𝙏𝙀
I didn’t know it at the time, but in that very moment, my fate was sealed. As he pulled out the coin, I felt a strange shiver wash over me. This was either going to be the worst decision of my life or the weirdest victory story I’d ever tell.
Either way, it was going to be memorable.
“Alright,” I said, “Let’s do it.”
With a dramatic flair, the man flipped the coin into the air. Time seemed to slow down as it spun and twirled.
It landed with a thud on the table. The man and I both stared at it.
Heads. I'd won.
I froze. My stomach banged tweelve (Mhojea pottant bara vazlim). Was this real? Was it a trick? Was he going to laugh and say it was all a joke.
He grinned. “You’ve won. Congratulations, you’re now a Lakhpoti now.” He slid a bag across the table toward me.
I looked down at the bag. It was compact bag, the kind you see with the drug dealers in Hindi films. I opened it slowly, half-expecting it to be full of fake money.
But no, it was full of stacks of 500-rupee notes — real money, the kind that makes you feel like you should be wearing sunglasses indoors.
“Wait... wait,” I said, blinking rapidly. “This is... this is real?”
“Yes boss,” he said, getting up. “Am good for my word. You’ve earned it.”
And with that, he was gone, just as mysteriously as he had entered.
𝘼 𝙇𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙊𝙉: 𝙂𝙊𝙊𝙂𝙇𝙀 𝙒𝙊𝙉’𝙏 𝙏𝙀𝘼𝘾𝙃
I sat there for a while, staring at the money. My brain was trying to process the events that had just unfolded. Did I just get rich off a coin flip?
To make matters even more absurd, the bar owner walked upto me and said, “Patrao, chol yea nhu, late zalo.. Chol kabar kor…”
I nodded and emptied my glass, still in a daze. “Yes, let’s go..”
And that, dear reader, is how I got rich by gambling.
If you ever find yourself at any place, and some guy in a coat asks you to toss a coin for one lakh, take a deep breath, trust your gut, and go for it.
𝘽𝙐𝙏 𝘿𝙊𝙉’𝙏 𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙍 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙂𝙊𝘼𝙉 𝙃𝙊𝙐𝙎𝙄𝙀 like clockwork, convinced that this is the week you are gonna win.
After 52 weeks, you will know that you’ve spent more money than you’ve made in your entire life, and not won a single prize.
Then, on Week 53, you win… a Jackpot Housie. And then you are stuck in an eternal loop of “Oh yes, I can win again..!”
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𝙎𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝘼𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨. 𝙋𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙎𝙃𝘼𝙍𝙀 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙇𝙄𝙆𝙀.
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