gaspersWorld

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PREFACE:

The schedule was to leave for  United Kingdom last week, to celebrate another milestone in our lives over a special dinner in the suburbs of Edinburgh, Scotland -- against the backdrop of the famous ‘Eilean Donan Castle’. 

The plan had to be postponed to a future date due to some unexpected developments at the office.

...And although it might seem to many reading this, that is a little bit of overreaction laced with stupidity on my part to put these personal and stark naked incidents, which by now, are almost forgotten but happened many years ago along with photos rarely seen before this, in public domain, yet I thought I should do it for 3 reasons.

First, as a tribute of gratefulness to few friends, couple of whom are not even walking on this planet now, who stood by me on that day. Without their support that event would never be possible.

Secondly, to create awareness among the younger generation how a wonderful companion and faithful shoulder to lean your head, in times of difficulty, can create wonders in your lives.

Thirdly and most importantly,  irrespective even if the feeling was not mutual, I thought I should tell my wife what is in my heart just in case if tomorrow never comes. So here I go...

THE STORY:

September 4th, a day emblazoned in my memory, the day of our wedding 38 years ago. I do remember it as if it was yesterday; since the incidents are both selective and precious.

In my own personal life, the weather forecast for that day was quite similar if not same, compared to the prevailing, end summer September weather of Kuwait that year.

The journey that I was about to undertake was engulfed with high temperatures scorching the land. There was no room for the heavenly relief of rain any time soon. Everything around us was hot to the touch and our future was tinder-dry, ready to burn on any careless spark.

I can still feel the giddiness of anticipation, the sense of oncoming adventure, the onslaught of family resistance  and  the open and lonely rough road ahead of us.

But, like a light at the end of a tunnel, I also quite sensed the rock solid support, trust and her love for me.  Her assurance that no matter what,  she will never allow me to walk alone, encouraged me to undertake this ‘hazardous and perilous’ journey.

Although to this day, I neither understood the reason for the resistance and  conspicuous absence of all my immediate family members to this event, I was never convinced (then and now) what all the fuss was about our love and marriage to them.

Though we have all reconciled, no one to this day, consciously or rationally were and are able to give me one single logical reason for their authoritarian decision that kept them away from this milestone in my life.

I walked to the altar alone, with no family entourage behind, then back after the nuptials with her hand tightly clutching against mine -- fully knowing the perils that lie ahead.

Nevertheless at the end of the wedding reception we took to the open road – headed back to our modest apartment in Khaitan, the Miami of Kuwait in those days.

We had nothing in hand nor in the bank,  except faith in Almighty, the love and good wishes of our one family member and some close friends,  and our hearts near-to-bursting with young love, hope enough for a lifetime, and a naivety that allowed us to believe -- with God’s blessings all things were possible.

38 YEARS LATER...

We were never a perfect couple; it was our imperfect bond that made us succeed. 

Ofcourse, great relationships are not great because they have no problems. They are great because both people care enough about each other and find a way to make it work.

From there on we have lived our lives (yes, singular and shared) against the mixed backdrop of our own personal growing pains, many awesome and beautiful moments of togetherness, alongside  – the international  Wars, women’s liberation movements, Financial evolution, hippies and drugs, War on Terrorism, and compassionate immigration policies  -- quite a lot for one life.

During these 38 years, biologically, we have  extended our family to 3 children (2 sons and 1 daughter) extended family of in-laws and 2 lovely twins, charming and awesome grandchildren Kyle & Kiara.

No matter what anyone may think that it is a preferred and divided affection,  their innocent approach, and their hugs and smiles is the  only real reward that more than compensates for the thankless, unappreciative and indifferent era that the world is currently living. 

Often when in playful conversation I narrate to Kyle and Kiara, the flashback of my younger days, that  my favorite cartoon character was ‘Phantom’ (now non-existent) and when Papa and Nana got married, there was no HD television, no cell-phones, no internet, etc.

As Kyle and Kiara grow up  to realize there were no emails either, no texting, no laptop, no drop-box, no FB and no Whatsapp . . .I can see the pictures form in their active imaginations of both of us -- emerging from our dark cave for the morning hunt of dinosaurs - to roast breakfast over the fire we had rubbed two stones.

The point being made here, by sharing your personal space and time is that, every year on this day when so many people seem to be out for themselves first -- or themselves alone, I had decided that I would religiously, Thank, Remember and Remind the sweetest example of what love and companionship is.

Thank God for this wonderful journey and the wonderful companion and a friend he provided me. Many didn’t make it till this milestone. We are fortunate.

Remember the importance of basic elements of Commitment, Love, Respect, Acceptance, and Empathy to a married life. Accept your relationship as a garden. You have to care for it consciously and consistently if you want it to produce fruits.

Remind and educate as a small gesture on my part to my other fellow married friends that nothing makes people feel better than that wonderful feeling of being appreciated and valued. Never take your partner for granted. Make time to say 'Thank you' and appreciate.

THE CONCLUSION:

As we both, plan to celebrate our good fortune over a special dinner out tonight in a secluded restaurant tucked away in the far suburbs of Kuwait, against the backdrop of Kuwait Oil Getty  - amidst  miles upon miles of golden sands of Kuwait beaches and  landscapes that really take your breath away, we’ll be congratulating ourselves on the youthful choice well made – and well played out.

Those past 38 years were not easy and the coming years as well, we both know, are going to be difficult but for now we have decided to stick to the ‘I do’ promises recited at Holy Family Cathedral Kuwait at around 4.45pm on 4th September 1980. 

Neither of us, looking into the future as far as we dare, have ever pictured it without each other. We have promised that we will never allow each other to walk alone; unless or until something drastic happens or death do us part...

Call it commitment, stubbornness, true love or pure tenacity; it defines the rules of engagement like nothing else.

If tomorrow never comes let me convincingly say it today. Thank You Neeta for being there and helping me to regain hope after despair, resume life after obstructions, restart journeys after detours, revive strength after defeat and resurrect dreams after rejection.

Happy 38th Wedding Anniversary, my sweetheart, can’t wait for the next one.