Locals are apparently demanding urgent action by the Goa Govt before stray dogs start filing for Land Ownership in Goa.
In a development that has both baffled and barked the locals, Goa is reportedly under siege. Not by foreign invaders or migrants, but by a growing, howling, four-legged army of stray dogs.
Once known for its peaceful beaches and vibrant shacks, Goa is now facing a ghostly crisis: the rise of the Dog Raj.
“August is for dogs?” an NRI from Down Under (Australia), down for good in Goa questioned, “Makes sense - it’s too hot for humans to function anyway…But mate, it's been a year since forever – they even drove my ‘only’ girlfriend away back to Auzzie.”
FROM HOUSE TO BEACH BARKERS
Tourists landing at Dabolim airport these days are greeted not by cab drivers offering ‘cheap taxis to Baga,’ but by cheerful gangs of canines offering ‘suspicious grrrowling.’
The beaches, once sacred to sunbathers, now echo with the occasional midnight hhhhowling symphony -- highly noticeable ever since the 10pm ban on music.
And dogs keep demanding control over beach shacks especially in Benaulim and Colva.
Locals say it is impossible to walk home after a rave without being followed by a posse of dogs who seem to have better coordination than the Goa state police.
One eyewitness reported:
"I was returning from Tito’s, and 5 strays followed me home. Now they live with me. One of them even changed my Netflix password."
MIGRANTS OR DOGS
Experts warn that Goa is dangerously close to dogs ruling the state, humans becoming the minority, and every lamp post, a disputed territory.
Referring to 17,236 dog bite cases in Goa last year, one MLA known for his witty retros was heard in the Assembly:
“Speaker Sir, as you know, our neighboring state Kerala is known as God’s Own Country -- but judging by the dog menace in Goa, people might soon start calling our state as Dog’s Own Country! Hem kitem chol’lam!!!”
GOA TOURISM IN CRISIS
The once-booming tourism industry is now on high alert.
Hotels have installed ‘bark sensors,’ and beach weddings now come with optional ‘dog distraction squads.’
One German tourist recounted:
"I came to meditate by the sea. I left with three punctured wounds and a new respect for rabies injections instead of my customary ‘heroin’ shots."
LOCALS FIGHT BACK
The Mapusa Municipality tried installing ‘NO DOGS ALLOWED’ signs, which were immediately peed on by the dogs in protest.
Meanwhile, a spiritual baba in Aquem-Margao claims he’s communicating with the dogs telepathically to negotiate a peace treaty.
Political analysts say if the government doesn’t intervene, the dogs might float their own party in the next elections – the Bhow-Jan Samaj Party (BSP) – with a clear pro-bone agenda.
CONCLUSION
While Goa has long prided itself on being laid-back and chill, even its famously ‘susegad’ attitude is being tested by the dog population.
If immediate action isn’t taken, Goa will soon lose its title as India’s party capital. As one local summed it up while hiding inside his house for days: “I don’t mind the dogs, I just wish they will stop trying to drive my old Maruti van.”
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DISCLAIMER: No dogs were harmed in the writing of this article. A few were offered biscuits, and one tried to rewrite the ending.