A humor story by Gasper Crasto...26th October 2020
๐ฆilence in the house has always been a yogic feature of my life, it enables me to sit back and enjoy a good time being myself.
However, my definition of silence is not meditation or prayer, it means โsilentlyโ browsing the net, watching YouTube, or reading till midnight while she does what she does best -- eat cakes behind my eyes or scoop ice-cream middle of the night.
For me, there is nothing like reading a book, and from my point of view, I have not read a book unless I have read it 10 times. If it is a good book, the more I read it, the better it turns to be.
My wife, on the other hand, when she reads something -- a book or a magazine, or watches a serial or a Hindi film, thatโs the end of it.
Me, if I like a movie, I will watch it over and over; I still watch โDilwale Dulhania Le Jayengeโ, and โThe Godfatherโ ever since I first saw them; I can recite the entire dialogues of Shah Rukh Khan and Al Pacino from these movies, by heart.
๐๐๐๐๐ฆ๐ง๐ฌ๐๐ ๐จ๐ก๐๐๐ฅ ๐๐ข๐๐๐๐ข๐ช๐ก
The Lockdown, work-from-home, curfew, me and my wife have grown accustomed to each otherโs presence in the coronacoaster of life.
One thing common during the pandemic has been the sound of my wifeโs monotonous chatter โ almost sounding like Amazonโs voice interaction app Alexa.
I cannot remember a time spent so much together with no serious obligations needing attention. Well, it has helped me to catch up on some of my reading and writing, and โcleaning-the-houseโ projects that I was behind on.
Finding something to do in the house to keep me amused has always been a โpositiveโ challenge of 2020 apart from staying โA-symptomaticโ.
My wife can always find something to do -- especially something for me to do โ if she sees me sitting idle. That is why every day I โactโ very-very busy, and I think I can claim an award for my โsuper-duperโ acting.
๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐จ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ข๐ฅ๐๐๐ฆ
The other day, I was watching news on TV, and was on the laptop at the same time as usual - listening to music and writing something for my blog.
She was digging through some stuff; she has this weird habit for digging into โarchaeologicalโ memories that I rather wish to forget.
She discovered an album of old photographs, I forgot we even had such photographs in the house, and I am sure my daughter wondered what a photo-album was. After all, she has grown up like all the new generation kids looking at photographs on digital gadgets.
โSee what I found!โ my wife exclaimed swerving the album in the air as if it was the much-wanted vaccine for the virus.
โWhat not she remembers!โ I sighed as I saw her flipping the pages. โNot only does she remember things I have forgotten, she remembers things I have never known.โ
โDo you know who that person is?โ she asked my daughter showing a picture.
The little one โscreenedโ the photograph and said, โNo, it doesn't look any familiar, who is it?โ
My wife smiled at her and said, โTake another lookโฆ.โ
โNo, I canโt figure out who that is,โ the chipmunk answered.
โShow it to him,โ she eyed me. โItโs him just before we got married?โ
โMe?โ I asked snatching the album.
There was a picture of a young man in sunglasses, looking more like Prabhu Deva, the Tamil actor, and as skinny as a starving man from Uganda, stylish nevertheless.
I will not admit to getting old now, of course, I am only older than I was some 15 years ago.
โI canโt remember where this picture was taken,โ I said.
โAre you sure thatโs him, mama?โ my daughter asked. โIf that's what he looked like before marriage, what has happened to him now.โ
The way she said โwhat happenedโ made it sound like I had become some โscrapโ metal.
๐๐ก๐ง๐-๐๐ข๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐ก ๐ง๐๐ ๐๐ข๐จ๐ฆ๐
The two of them kept commenting and picking on me which disturbed my โsilenceโ and unsettled my nerves. I had to either โmaskโ myself fast or complain to World Health Organization (WHO) about the intimidating โanti-bodiesโ in the house.
Well, I talk in the house only when necessary and listen when necessary. However, my biggest mistake has been that I listen when I should be talking, and I talk when I should be listening. If that isn't frustrating, I donโt know what is.
After a while, the โmadamโ of the house asked her most common question, โAre you listening?โ
No matter how long you are married, never ignore when your wife is talking. She may have a surprise-test in store later at night which can give you hallucinations.
โAre you listening to me?โ she asked again, somewhat mockingly.
โWhy, yes. Am not deaf.โ I said.
โOkay,โ she said, โwhat did I say?โ
At that point, I knew I was in trouble because I may have been listening, but I did not really hear what she said.
โLooks like the โsocial distancingโ has affected your โhearingโ in the house,โ she said.
๐ง๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ฅ๐๐๐๐ง
Looking at some other pictures, my daughter interrupted saying something perhaps she should not have said, โMama, he was not at all handsome; why did you marry him...โ
They looked at each other for a moment and burst out laughing which pissed me off no ends.
โHey,โ I said to my daughter. โNo person really decides who theyโre going to marry. God decides that. You find out only later who youโre stuck with. Itโs true, I didnโt have good looks or any money back then...โ
My wife saw how aggravated I was and probably thought of rubbing some salt. She said, โAnd where do you have good looks or money, now?โ
They giggled again.
โOieee, you heard about โflattening the curveโ?โ I asked, rubbing my hands against each other, โWho wants to be โflattenedโ here, and โsanitizedโ!!!โ
๐ง๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ถ๐ป๐๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ ๐๐ถ๐น๐ฒ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ, ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ป๐ผ๐ ๐ฎ๐บ๐๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ต๐ผ๐๐ด๐ต. ๐๐ ๐น๐ฒ๐ณ๐ ๐บ๐ฒ ๐ต๐ฎ๐น๐ณ-๐พ๐๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป๐๐ถ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐๐ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐ต ๐ฎ โ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ป๐ณ๐ถ๐ฟ๐บ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐๐ฒโ โ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐น๐ฒ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ป๐ผ ๐๐ถ๐น๐ฒ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐๐ต๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐๐ป๐ฑ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐บ๐ ๐๐ถ๐ณ๐ฒโ๐ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ป๐๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ ๐ฏ๐น๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ป๐ด!
:::HAPPY Wedding Anniversary esparansa:::