:::a tongue and cheek story:::
“Hello..” I said answering the phone.
“Hi.. hello..” said an enthusiastic male voice at the other end.
“Who’s this?” I asked placing the hands-free between my shoulder and the ear.
“Hello, haven’t you recognized me?..”
Haven’t you recognized?
Some people have such dumb, abysmal behaviors. Why can’t they introduce themselves when they call over the phone. It is so infuriating. And still, there are others who have the cheek to call upon you and insist to know who you are. I remember a female voice calling on our landline in Goa once and asking, “Who’s speaking?”
Somebody calling your home doesn’t know who they are talking to?
Who’s speaking?
I guess I must have been in a terrible mood when I received that call ‘cause I'd answered, “Your pop!”
“What!!!” exclaimed the voice. Then there was a long silence before the line went dead. Slowly but surely I realized it was the wife of one of my close friends. Within seconds the phone began to buzz again. I did not pick it up, I was not at home..:). And I switched off my cell phone too, I was out of range.
“Hey dude.. are you there?” The voice at the other end blurted again. With excitement.
“Yess..” I said involuntarily. I was getting agitated by now!
“Hey.. don’t you know me?”
“Hey, hello..” my patience was over the edge now, “are you some Amitabh Bachchan that I will know you by your voice? ”
There was a gasp at the other end, then a deep breath.
“Hey.. it’s me.. Brian.. your classmate!!.. Remember now?”
It was a familiar voice no doubt. I immediately recalled our glory days in Goa!
“Hey Briany.. how you doing man?” I asked, “When did you come to Kuwait?”
“Just a week now... Good to catch you.. The best person to guide me this part of the world, I am sure, is you.. ..you’ve been here for a while now.. isn’t it?....”
“Ahlan-wa-salhan.. Welcome to Kuwait!” I said cordially.
For almost an hour we discussed about life here and there, then and now, the weather here and there, the standard and comfort of living in Kuwait and Goa and elsewhere, before my friend wished to know the more, 'inner' secrets of living luxuriously in the Middle-East.
“Apart from the basic needs -- food, shelter, etc, there's a special package for minimum requirements of survival in Kuwait.” I told him.
“And what is that, may I know?” he asked.
“To live here, you need to possess the WMDs.”
“Weapons of Mass Destruction!!!?” he almost screamed.
“The WMDs I am talking about are different.. these are the survival tools in Kuwait!”
“Hmm.. tell me more..!”
“The W is Wasta. Loosely translated, ‘wasta’ is connections of methods by which we obtain difficult things in an easier manner (and usually outwit the rules). Living in Kuwait necessitates ‘wasta’. Without it, you cannot get anything done; well you can, but it will be difficult. You need ‘wasta’ for paperwork, to get a job - no matter how well educated you are, etc, etc, even to rent an apartment.. and many other things..”
“How do I find this wasta?”
“If you don’t have direct ‘wasta’, you should ask around and associate yourself with someone who does. Using this method, you can obtain second or third-party ‘wasta’, which is just as effective in getting what you need.”
“Alright..am making a note of this in my mind..What’s the next one, M?”
“Mobile. It is unheard of to live in Kuwait and not possess a mobile nowadays. Your mobile number is the equivalent of your social insurance number in Western countries. To some people, mobiles are more important than house lines – people can live for years without a domestic phone line or even their wives, but won’t go one day without mobile service.”
“That’s the first thing I did after landing in Kuwait, buy myself a phone and a line.!”
“The last of the WMDs is the Destination you want to be inside Kuwait. For that, a car is more of a necessity than luxury here. Once you get into your car, you rarely wish to get out. From your car you can pick up groceries, laundry, get food, buy flowers, go to church or the Friday football games, look for a ‘new and cheap’ apartment, go the the Friday market, etc, etc. Living in Kuwait, even for a short period of time, you get accustomed to staying behind the wheel.”
“Well.. for that I need to first get a driving license, isn’t it?"
“Yes.. use the first of your WMDs to get that!” I answered, “Back on the subject, a car is definitely a necessity to achieve your D-e-s-tination. Unlike other countries, the transport system here is quite inconvenient. There is no train or metro, so the only public transportation available is the bus - unless you are happy enough to spend on cabs. But taking the bus to get to your Destination is like going on a tour of Kuwait. You will pass by many useless streets and areas, and a trip that is supposed to take a few minutes will take a couple of hours.”
“I guess I’ll have to wait a while to be on the driver’s seat..” my friend said despondently.
“Guess what!.. Life doesn’t seem to be any inch brighter here as I thought..”
“It is certainly not.. specially in current times..!” I said, “The global economic crisis has bitten life to an uncertainty and turmoil. Many companies are laying off hundreds of staff, reducing operations and tightening screws. People have lost their jobs and their homes, and are facing serious hardships..”
“But I see many of you guys celebrating like filmstars when you come down.. I too want to rock when I go back on holidays..”
“Everyone will be forced to change those habits because of the economic crunch and inflation.. Celebrating holidays will be apparently difficult when you can’t pay your rent or feed the family.. This is not a time to boast of one’s earnings.. ‘existence’ is more than sufficient -- to appreciate the blessings we already enjoy, the friendship we possess, and love we already have..”
“Yaar, before I hang up let me thank you for the info, ..advice and analysis... and ofcourse your time..”
“Ahlan wa salhan, you’re welcome!”
“Realistic truth in what you say! Beats my whole assessment of a 'green' desert..! Hey, tell me something.... aren’t you the same guy I’ve known over the years.. ..who refused to speak anything serious?”
“Well dude,” I replied, “that guy died a long time ago.. I am his ghost!”