(Revised - 22 Feb 2017)
Yes, the holidays are coming up.
All your colleagues, friends, family have planned out something -- barbeque, a drive through the desert, explore the latest mall, or go somewhere 'out of town' - a tour to a 'foreign' land.
"What about you.." I asked my close friend, a true Goan at heart.
"Oh, yeah, yeah!" he chuckled, "we have big plans..".
“Like what? Am sure you're gonna do the usual 'weekend' stuff – shopping and cleaning the house?" I said, "And try out those disastrous recipes that your wife invents? Ha ha.. What is it this time?”
“Wife.,, She wants to spend the holidays in Saudi Arabia,” he said rather sheepishly.
Knowing my friend and his wife, 'outstanding' Catholics that they were by all faith, I was a bit stunned to hear that at first.
"Holy Ghost !!!! Holiday in a Islamic world???" I asked.
Anyway, his wife was known to get those weird ideas every now and then -- like learning to drive (even though she already possessed a valid license), taking a course in jive dancing although it was 'practically impossible' to get the sumo-wrestler to dance.
"Going to Saudi of all beautiful places on the planet..!! Unbelievable!"
My friend said his initial reaction was to scoff at his wife.
"...but we all know wives get what they want, finally," he shared his thoughts.
He said he was quite into the idea of accompanying his wife to Mecca-Medina after all, and finding out what's all there inside the Kabba and all that.
“As a matter of fact, she wants to visit every Gulf country including Antarctica,” he said sounding as excited as a kid.
“Hey, Antarctica is not in the GCC....”
“The exciting news is that,” he cut me short, “in a few days time I can cross out Saudi off my list of places she wants to visit. Hopefully I will get a few souvenirs and cool pictures back home.”
“C-o-o-l..” I said, knowing his enthusiasm in using the digital lens every step wherever he went.
“Cool????.. You think so? It is my year’s saving yaar! ...”
“Then, you should know to spend wisely..”
“That's it. I told my wife we are not going..,” he said, but I knew he would not dare say that in front of his wife, “You know what? Actually, I am NOT happy about these things man... especially about Suzy taking all our life's decisions... ”
“Well, I suggest you take a pad and write down all those things this holiday... especially the ones that make you unhappy."
"Oh, yeah. I think you are right.."
"Tell me, what made you happy all your years? Was it your wife? Was it playing football, watching cricket, visiting places? Photography? Movies? Internet? Whatever it is, no matter how silly, write it down...”
“I think I love toy race cars and puzzle books,” he replied.
I was beginning to get mad at his funky answers.
“So, buy those toy cars and puzzle books on the tour... and when you get home, play with them.” I said bluntly.
The guy looked at me and smiled.
“Write a script and buy some puppets as well on the way back -- to act for you," I continued.
"Yaar, photography. That's what I love the most. You know I can load the pics on facebook, tag all my friends.. and demand as many 'likes'.."
"Yeah? Keep yourself busy then! And excited! You may start right away. Take pictures of the door mats outside all apartments in your building, and develop your own rating scale for them."
"Hmm?"
"Send your neighbors emails or WhatsApp messages letting them know who got the best door mat. Have a good time buddy.. Bye..”
I heard him laughing sarcastically. His laughter left me intrigued. I turned around.
He winked, "Happy holidays, dude!"
"Have a wonderful holiday with your wife..Stay safe...Eat well.. Bye..Don't settle for pav-bhaji or omlette if you want to have those pork sausages for breakfast – all holiday..Carry some stock to Saudi, doesn't matter if pork is banned there... "
There was silence. I felt pity for the poor chap.
"Hey buddy, listen," I said, "We do so much for others all throughout, BUT you need to take care of the most important person in the world, that's you silly.. You need a break, you need a good, good holiday..!"
"I do, I surely do...." he looked at me long-faced.
"First, you deserve to feel good about what you do.."
"That's true..."
"Before you leave for Saudi, play some holiday music at home. Take off your pants and dance around the living room. Run to the kitchen, dance there for a while. Get back to the living room and dance again!"
I saw the smile coming back to his face.
"You don't mean it brother, do you?" he asked.
"I know it sounds silly! But sometimes it's good, you know?. Put on a Santa Claus outfit, and drive to the super market! Doesn't matter if it is not Christmas. Who's gonna see you anyway! Have fun! Just have a jolly good time..”
“Is that going to make me HAPPY?” he spoke to himself more than me.
“Don't allow yourself even one sad thought, and when you find one coming, start singing some old mando in Konkani at the top of your lungs...”
“Wish I could sing my favorite songs during these holidays.. all to my heart’s content.. .. Yes..that’s one thing I have been dying to do on holidays ..”
“Then, why don't you go where you and your wife can both get all the happiness and inspiration that you deserve and desire..”
“Where...”
"Well...well.. well... ."